“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
Maya Angelou
Giving of yourself is emphasized in society today. From religious texts that talk of giving cheerfully, loving others as we love ourselves, and that it’s more profitable to give than to receive, to cultural norms that insist on sharing lest you die alone, the emphasis on giving has been deafening.
The insistence on giving and caring for others stems from an understanding of human nature—that a person will want to fulfill his needs first before the needs of another. One of psychology’s natural laws, the doctrine of selfish motivation, suggests that every behavior, action, or decision a person pursues is born of self-interest. But, just because we have an innate desire for self-service does not mean we must live entirely selfish lives. We can serve ourselves and others simultaneously while avoiding burnout.
We Live For The Benefit Of Others
In a sense, we live to help others. Everything we do in life is majorly for the benefit of others, and through that ideal, many people derive purpose and satisfaction. Feelings of compassion and empathy can also motivate us to help others. Giving ourselves also doles out warm, pleasurable feelings associated with serenity, tranquility, and inner peace. However, in pursuit of these good feelings, some people give too much of themselves which results in depletion.
Finding a healthy equilibrium between serving others and self-care is the key to being able to fulfill your desire to serve while maintaining the capacity to do so. Self-love is the most noble quest, so it’s important to take care of yourself before others and avoid burnout. This article discusses how to achieve this healthy balance.
What is Self-Care?
Self-care is simply taking care of yourself to meet your personal needs. It is the conscious act to restore balance in your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health, whichever area may be lacking.
Unfortunately, some people view self-care as selfish or a luxury and ignore their own needs in favor of helping others. Due to self-neglect, the help rendered becomes a burden, and the person starts to feel tired, overwhelmed, and ill-equipped to handle responsibilities and challenges. The good effort they pursued becomes detrimental to both the giver and the receiver.
Self-care is critical because it re-establishes balance in your life and helps you avoid burnout by replenishing your energy and ability to relax, have fun, and desire to connect with others. Self-care encompasses a wide range of actions—eating a healthy meal, doing routine exercise, seeing a doctor when unwell, spending time with loved ones, watching movies, reading books, praying, meditating, sleeping enough, having some alone time, and so much more. When you take care of yourself before tending to others, your body, mind, and emotions are better equipped to address the needs of other people.
How To Balance Your Life To Avoid Burnout
The tips below should help you balance your self-care and support of others for an overall wellness:
1. Prioritize everyday tasks
The first of the steps to help avoid burnout is to determine what you can handle without losing yourself each day. Have a defined list of tasks you can accomplish, and prioritize them in order of their urgency and importance. Have different categories, such as what needs to be done now, what you can do later, what you can delegate, and what you can toss out altogether. With this order, you can focus on the most crucial activities and avoid the stress of handling too much. Using this approach, you can also set aside time to help others without forgetting your needs and responsibilities.
2. Set limits and boundaries
Setting clear limits and boundaries can help you take care of yourself. Setting a ceiling for what you can do for others and a shield for how far they can reach to get to you allows you the opportunity to recharge before reaching a breaking point. You must define what, where, when, and how to help. Refrain from trying out everything and saving every situation. Some situations call for expertise or people with greater experience who could handle a situation better and in less time than you.
Regarding your personal space and time, create a structure that allows you to focus on yourself uninterrupted for a particular period before you have to give yourself in service to others again. Start by determining the ideal time for you to be by yourself. For example, a mom running a household all day could choose to wake up earlier than everyone else to have some personal time. Use this time to do anything that builds you—be it just relaxation, reading a book, taking an online class, writing a book, or a hobby.
Before your designated time alone, communicate your expectations to the people around you, such as your clients, co-workers, and family members. Let them know that you need some urgent time alone and that you’re not to be disturbed. You must also learn to decline any requests and commitments that could come in the way of your time. Prioritize your well-being and avoid burnout to be efficient in your delivery of service to others.
3. Take regular breaks to rest and recharge
Taking regular breaks can help you recharge your motivation and energy. Take the time off to rest and relax or do something fun. You could take a walk, nap, enjoy a cup of tea, cook your favorite food, or listen to uplifting music.
Longer breaks are also well-deserved after giving much of yourself for a long time. Go on vacations, travel to a new destination, and do any other activity to disconnect from your regular schedule and enjoy life. Time off keeps your mind and body refreshed and makes coping with challenges and stress easier. Most of all, do not feel guilty about taking care of yourself before caring for others because they should be doing the same.
4. Ask for help
One of the best ways to avoid burnout is to avoid taking on more than you can reasonably handle on your own. Reach out to others—your peers, loved ones, community, colleagues, or supervisors—for performance feedback, advice, assistance, and guidance. No one can be good at everything. When we combine our skills and unique talents, we can create a sense of community and lessen feelings of isolation, helping us maintain our energy and capacity to give.
Avoid Burnout By Creating A Healthy Balance
Maintaining a reasonable self-care and service balance is essential for overall wellness and healthy relationships. It is neither a weakness nor a character flaw to devote time and resources to taking care of yourself. In fact, you will be able to give so much more to others when you first meet your own needs. Take time to reassess your life periodically to determine if your priorities and boundaries are still intact.
To learn more about the “self-care before service” philosophy, connect with Patricia Kennedy (PeeKay) of Body Mindset Connection. She provides guidance and teaches techniques for discovering your innate wisdom and building stronger relationships.
Patricia Kennedy has spent over 25 years honing her craft by performing more than 5,000 massages, exploring many massage modalities, and listening and learning from clients’ words and bodies to discover what works and doesn’t. Patricia has studied an ancient Chinese feminine wisdom system for 30 years, which taught her how to connect with herself and harness her inner power, giving her a distinct advantage in providing many hours of massage to clients without hurting herself, even at 60. Now, she is enthusiastic about sharing these principles and techniques with others through Connected Touch.
